Will Bullying Ever End?

I watched a news story about a 14 year old boy committing suicide this morning. It was due to the non-stop bullying he was dealing with because he was gay. It is a sad world we live in. This poor boy and his grieving mother brought a tear to my eye. It seems like there are more and more of these stories. When will the bullying end? Will we ever get past ignorance and hate? Sadly for this young man it no longer matters.

I hope you have found peace Jamey Rodemeyer. I wish it did not have to end this way.

Apartment #2

We saw our second option.

Two Bedroom Option

Money Details:

• $685 monthly rent
• Application $50 each adult
• $150 Processing Fee due at move-in
• $125 refundable deposit
• $50 Monthly Garage Rental

Apartment Details:

• 2 bedroom
• 2 Full baths
• 1051 square feet
• Full size washer/dryer connection in a closet off the bathroom
• His and Her closets in the master
• 1 bath is off the master
• large screened in porch with a storage closet.
• Living Room is 14X12
• Dining Room is 8'10''X8'2"
• Master bedroom is 13'4"X12'2"
• Kids Bedroom is 11'2"X8'6"
• Dishwasher
• Ice maker
• garage disposal
• Ceiling fan in living room
• Painted Accent wall

Three Bedroom Option

Money Details:

• $900 monthly rent
• All other details are the same
• Apartment Details:

• 3 Bedrooms
• 2 Full Baths
• 1334 square feet
• Full size washer/dryer connection in a closet off hall
• His and Her closets in the master
• 1 bath is off the master
• large screened in porch with a storage closet
• Living Room is 14X12
• Dining Room is 8'X12'
• Master bedroom is 13'X11'6"
• Bedroom #2 is 13'X11'6"
• Bedroom #3 is 11'6"X12'4"
• Dishwasher
• Ice maker
• garage disposal
• Ceiling fan in living room
• Painted accent wall
  

Complex Details:

• 1/2 mile walking trail
• redwood dry heat saunas
• pool
• heated whirlpool spa
• tanning bed
• Gym (decent)
• sand volleyball court
• picnic areas with grills and tables
• On-site recreational events & programs
• walking distance to all the basics (Grocery, Mall, restaurants, shops, nail salons, etc.)
• complimentary fax and copy service
• Free WI-Fi in common areas
• In elementary and middle school district with bus service
• Poolside picnic area with grills
• on-site 24 hour laundry room
• Car wash on property

The apartments appeared a little run down. They have the air of a place that used to be very nice but have gone down hill. They did have almost everything we were looking for. It had all the must haves except #4 was iffy. The 2 bedroom has 1, 3, 5, 7-10, 12-16, 18, 20-22, 24, & 25. The three bedrooms has 2, 3, 5, 7-10, 12-16, 18, 20-22, 24, & 25. I was happy they had so many of our wants but they were missing a must have. They were nice but off as I said. They people there seemed off as well. They have a very phony vibe. I just had the feeling that she was lying to me the whole way through.

There were big signs saying rent special everywhere so I asked what the rent normally was. The lady told me that's what the rent is. I said will it stay the same after the lease is up. She said I don't know. I asked her what she meant. I mean honestly they do not know what your rent will be? She said we go on fair market value. The whole thing seemed fishy to me. I came home and did a little research. Apparently they have a habit of luring people in with these low rental prices for the first year and then jumping the rent $200 to $300 a month when the lease is up! Most of what I found said that the 3 bedrooms jumped to $1150-$1200! That's ridiculous! After that it became clear that my instincts were spot on. These people are trying to rip people off. That was why they felt so sketchy.

This place has been marked off the list!

My Radio Saved My LIFE!!

I was leaving my house this morning. I got to the light by my house that takes forever. I was listening to the radio. I looked over and saw the cross walk signal change. This indicates that the red light is going to change in a minute. That's when my radio stopped working! Literally no sound at all. I start pushing buttons. Still nothing. I hit the CD eject button. The CD comes out and goes directly back in. It keeps going in and out. The people behind me start to honk. I grab the CD as it comes back out again. I throw it up on the dash, giving it up as a lost cause. I look up and take my foot off the brake. Just as I am putting my foot on the gas a semi-truck runs the red light right in front of me. This whole series of events happened in a thirty second gap at most. If I would have went right when the light turned green either I or the people behind me would have been hit by that truck. He was going about 40 mph. He never slowed down. Whoever he hit would have died for sure. As I was getting on the on ramp for the highway a minute or two later my radio started blasted out music. I turned it down and said "Thank you" to whoever or whatever saved my life today.

I am a believer in fate. This was not my day to go but it did make me think. Life is too short for fear. It is too short for things left undone and words left unsaid. Bella was still asleep when I left this morning. I did not get to hug her good-bye. Ivy left annoyed this morning because she overslept and I was rushing her around. That could have been it. The last time I saw my children could have been an annoyed half a hug and a whispered "I Love You" to a sleeping toddler. If anything is to ever happen to me I hope they know how much I love them both. I hope they know I would do anything for them. I hope they remember how hard I worked and that I was always there if they needed me. I hope they are happy in life and never let anything hold them back. I hope my life motto's live on in them. The first of which is "Live in the moment. It may be your last." This morning was proof of this. I love you girls with all my heart!

Apartment #1

We saw our first apartment option.

Here's the Details:

Money Details:

• Base Rent $725 (Must pay an extra $15 for first floor and waste water is set at $35 a month)
• Garage is an extra $50 with no opener
• Super picky about Credit, rental history and time at job
• $45 Application fee per adult
• $50 Administrative fee due at move in
• $99 to $725 Deposit dependent on credit

Apartment Details:

• 2 Bedrooms
• 2 Full Baths
• 1,125 SQ Feet
• Fully Equipped Kitchen with Frost free refrigerator, dishwasher, electric self cleaning oven, and built in Microwave oven
• Ceiling Fans
• Huge Walk-in Closets in both bedrooms
• Private Patio or Balcony of Living room
• Washer and Dryer Connection in a rather large laundry room
• Chandelier in Dining Room
• Coat Closet in Front Hall
• Looks Nice
• 1 Car Garage Rental
• No Stairs for First Floor Places

Complex Details:

• NICE GYM!
• Large Pool with huge Sun Deck
• Tanning Bed
• Tennis Court
• Full Basketball Court
• Sand Volleyball Court
• Recreational Room
• 24 Hour laundry on-site
• Clubhouse with Sitting Room with Fireplace and Wide Screen Television
• Indoor Racquetball Courts
• Picnic Area
• Playground
• Convenient
• In Elementary School District
• Possibly in Middle School District (They were not sure because lines just changed. Waiting to hear back from the school.)

The full rent will be $825. If it is in the middle school district then it has all the must haves. On the Wants list it has 3-5, 7, 9, 11-18, 20, 23, and 25. Kind-of's 8, 19, 6. It had issue about 5 years ago when a lady was stabbed in her apartment but they haven't had any problems since. The guy was caught.

Doesn't have 10, 21, 22 and 24. Not being walking friendly is the only one of these that really bothers me.

This place is still in the running. Over-all we liked it. The bedrooms were good sized, closets were huge, and the gym was great! My only concern is how picky they are about credit. I do not have much credit. My husband has credit from buying our car. I never wanted to hamper myself with credit cards that I did not really need. His credit is good enough but I do not know if mine is. We both have to meet the guide lines or we have to put down a full month of rent and here's the kicker, have a co-signer! I have been a renter for 10 years and I have never encountered this.

There's the Pros and Con's of apartment #1. On to #2!

Apartment Search has begun!

We will be moving again soon. I will be weighing in on each place as we see them. Then I will let you know which we choose in the end. In order to help us decide what was important we made out a list of things that are must haves and things we would like to have. The "can't live without" list is short. We will not move into a place in which we can not get these things. The "like to have" list is a different story. I have put the "want list" in order of importance to us.
Must Haves:

1. 2 bedrooms
2. 1 & 1/2 baths
3. Within the right middle school district
4. Nice looking and well maintained
5. First floor with minimal stairs (This is for Ivy since she may have to have surgery & physical therapy in the near future.)
6. If two stories there must be a bathroom down stairs
7. Washer/Dryer connections
8. Under our budget of $900 (This is a fair budget for housing in this area.)

Want List:

1. Under $800
2. 3 bedrooms
3. Garage
4. Large Closets
5. In the right elementary school district with bus service
6. Good overall reputation and newer buildings
7. Pool with bathrooms
8. Kid Friendly atmosphere
9. Large Living room
10. Within walking distance from shops and recreational places, with sidewalks
11. Nice kitchen
12. Patio
13. Newer Heating & air
14. Storage
15. Gym
16. Convenient location
17. Good Lighting
18. 2 Full Baths
19. Convenient Trash location
20. Playground
21. Garbage disposal
22. Ice makers
23. Vanity area in bathroom
24. Painted accent walls or the ability to paint
25. Tanning Bed

That's our demands, lol. I'll give you a run down of each place as we see them.

Where were you on that fateful day?

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 World Trade Tower attacks. I watched 102 minutes that changed history this morning. In a moment it all came rushing back. The fear, the shock, the sadness was all there again. On the morning of 9/11/2001 I was sitting in my living room watching Disney channel and playing with my daughter who was only eight months old. We were dancing to a commercial when the television went black. A moment later white type appeared on the screen. It said please tune to CNN. I reached over and grabbed the remote control off the sofa. I flipped the channel to CNN at told. I was stunned when the towers were shown. I honestly did not know what was going on at first. I listened for a minute and then the news anchor said the World Trade Tower had been hit. Over the hours that followed I sat in horror watching as the video of the second tower being hit was played. I clutched Ivy to me as the reality of what was happening began to take hold. I cried as I watched people jump or fall to their deaths. The shock of the Pentagon being hit. The brave people who managed to take down one of the planes are hero's.

The price gauging that I heard about a few hours after the attacks were just as surprising to me. I got phone calls all day. Some people checking in, Others called to report on gas prices or lines at gas stations. I have never been so happy to see my husband as I was that night. He had left for work before the attacks. This morning I sat watching with my husband. The tears still came. This is one of the few moments in history that all Americans will never forget. Where were you when America stopped? My hope is you were far from the attack, that you were home and with loved ones.  Tonight as you end this day remember what it means. Remember the lives lost. Kiss your babies extra for the parents who are now unable to kiss theirs. Hug your spouse tightly for the ones who no longer may. Tell your parents you love them dearly for those who no longer have a parent to call. Count yourself blessed and never forget the ones who were not as lucky. If you lost someone in the attacks or in the plane crash I am sorry. My heart was with you today and remains with you.

Never Forget 9/11

Brace Update

Ivy's brace is doing great! She is now wearing it comfortably 18 hours a day. The last time the doctor saw her he simply said "Amazing, looks like it just might work!" It has been a month since then. She physically looks better. I have taken her shopping a few times to work out the wardrobe issues. Her clothing does not fit the same way with it on. She is a 10/12 normally but had to move up to a 14 with the brace. We found some amazing stretch jeans at JcPenny and Justice. They are skinny jeans so they still fit her legs.

She has not had too many problems with teasing thankfully! Kids are taking it OK. She was already in this school before she got the brace. We consulted a therapist on how we could make thing easier. Ivy did not meet with her. I just spoke to her on the phone. She said it would be best to keep her in the same school until she is out of the brace. We totally agree and intend to keep her as stable as possible. We are currently in a third floor walk-up. She may still have to have surgery in the near future. We are looking for a new apartment with no stairs. We begin tours this weekend. It is very hard to find a place here because the prices are very steep. We are working with a modest budget until I am out of school. It sucks because if we could leave this school district rentals are much cheaper. I will let you know how the apartment hunt goes.

FYI: Ivy's next X-ray check is in late January! Pray with us for a good outcome!!

The Holiday Weekend From Hell!

Our "Holiday" weekend turned into the weekend from hell that we were praying would end! We start our story with the knowledge that I had an English paper due on Monday and a psychology paper due on Sunday by midnight. I also had my first exam in Anatomy and physiology on Wednesday to study for and two essays for history due on Wednesday night or so I thought. On Friday afternoon I was sitting on the couch working on my English paper when my mom called to tell me her car had broken down again. She has already had it in the shop twice in the last month. She asked if my husband would be willing to take a look at it. He always tells her to call if she has car problems. I told her I would have him call her in a little bit. He had worked the night before and was just getting up. He called her back a few minutes later and said we would come over as soon as Ivy was home from school.

When Ivy got home we went over to her house. He looked at it and found out what was wrong. He needed us to go pick up the parts. The only issue was that one of the parts was right down the street but the other was about a half hour away. I said I would take mom to go pick it up. Michael stayed at my mom's and began taking off the broken pieces. Ivy stayed there with him. Bella rode along with us to get the parts. We picked up the one right down the road and dropped it off so he could get started. We then drove the half hour into the city to pick up the other part. When we got there it was not ready even though we had called in advance. I sat in the car with a toddler who was getting angrier with every passing moment. I was handing her toy after toy out of the car toy bag to buy myself precious moments of non-screaming. It worked for a a little while. I only had to listen to about 15 minutes of straight screaming before mom appeared at the door. While I was driving she called in a food order. We picked it up before getting to her place. It was getting dark so my husband said he would have to come back to finish it in the morning. I normally have class on Saturday morning but I was off for the holiday weekend. We ate dinner and packed up to head home for the night. As we were walking out mom's front door Bella threw up on the floor. That must have been my warning that life was about to get nuts! We got home OK and put the kids in bed.

On Saturday morning my husband went to finish my mom's car. I stayed home with the kids. I went to pay a couple bills. I finished my English paper and began work on my psych paper. For some reason my brain shut down after finishing my English paper. It may sound weird but I swear it refused to work at all. I struggled to get out every sentence on my psych paper. We had plans to have dinner with my dad that evening. I literally took my computer with me in case my brain decided to start working again. We ate dinner. I managed to get another paragraph out before giving it up as a lost cause. It was an OK evening.

On Sunday morning my brain slipped back into gear and started working again. I busted out the paper that had taunted me the day before in no time. We had plans to go to watch a fireworks show that night. We were all excited. We had looked forward to this for a couple weeks. They weather man was calling for rain and lots of it. We decided to go as long as they were still having it. We went grocery shopping and my husband made us some enchiladas before leaving to meet my Dad for fireworks. We stopped for gas on the way there. While waiting for my husband to pump gas my phone rang. It was my Dad. I answered and he says "I don't think we will be going to fireworks." I said "OK, did they cancel due to weather?" He said  "No, they are still on but Cassie (my sister) and I wouldn't be able to make it. We just got home and somebody robbed us." I sat stunned for a minute. I asked "Are you OK?" He said "Yeah. They were gone when we got here. They tore the house up pretty bad. Your sister is crazy. We are waiting for the cops to show. Were you on your way here?" I said, "Yeah, we are on our way. I will be there soon!" We got down there a few minutes later. The cops still had not shown up. I asked Dad why they had not showed up yet. He said that they had told him that they were too busy with the firework show crowd and would get to him when they had time!

The robbers did in fact tear his house to shreds! They dumped out every drawer, cleared off shelving, and even flipped over their mattresses! They stole quite a bit including two laptops and my dad's medication. We were not supposed to go into the house because we could compromise the scene. It was pouring  down rain! We were had to wait on the porch or in the cars. Dad had to wait there for the cops to show up and we were not going to leave him to wait alone. My mom came down to check in on him as well. They are no longer married but have remained friends. After waiting for 2 hours a bike cop finally arrived. He went through the house, took photo's and did some fingerprinting. When he was about half done the kids would not hold out any longer. I told Dad that I was sorry but we were not being any help anyway. It was late in the after midnight range at this point.

We took the kids home and got them in bed. My sister called to chat a little after the cop left. She was so upset and scared to sleep. After I got off the phone with her I crashed. On Monday we went back over to Dad's to help them finish cleaning up. They had most of it done but we hung around any way as support systems should. We had a simple dinner of grilled burgers and smoked sausages. I rode with my sister back to my mom's so she could have her car there. She has not taken her driving test yet. She needed Dad's car there so she could take it this week. She has been old enough for over a year back she just wasn't ready yet.

We didn't hang around Mom's. We were tired and just wanted to be home for a while. I made a brownie dessert with a chocolate chip cookie topping. We ate it and watched TV shows on the DVR. The kids got baths. We all went to bed fairly early. That evening was the highlight of my weekend!

Things That Make Me Happy

• My Children & Hubby
• My Crazy, Funny Sister and most of my family for that matter
• My Friends
• Traveling, especially to new places
• SHOES!
• Running
• The smell of a baby fresh from the bath
• The Ocean
• Baby feet
• The Color Pink...Bright Colors in General
• Reading
• Good Italian Food
• Funky Earrings (Feathers, Beads, Chains, Etc.)
• A rib-eye steak cooked to medium
• Nature (Trees, Mountains, Rivers, Animals, & so on)
• Anything my Dad cooks
• Puppies and Kittens when they belong to someone else, lol
• Cleanliness
• An Organized Home, Car, Binder...Well just about anything organized really
• Meeting new people
• Dance
• My Husband's egg tacos
• When someone else changes my daughter's dirty diaper
• When something unexpected happens and I am prepared for it
• Music
• Learning something new
• Good Hair Days!
• Art
• Shopping
• People who laugh loudly and easily
• Snow on Christmas, and Only on Christmas!
• Donuts (I would rather have a glazed donut than chocolate!)
• The sense of satisfaction that comes from finishing a large project or my work for the week
• Good grades
• A great fitting pair of jeans
• Being Early
• And last but certainly not least...Living on a Whim. I love to plan but sometimes I like to go completely off track. It's shocking & I never know how it will work out but it's fun!

Quotes That Inspire Me

  These are the quotes that inspire me. Some make me smile. Some make me try when I want to give up. Some make me remember why I work so hard. Some make me think. Some remind me to have fun. Some remind me I am blessed. Some pick me up when I am down. Some give me the desire to push further. Some remind me to make time for the little things. All of them speak to me deeply.

 Outings are so much more fun when we can savor them through the children's eyes. -Lawana Blackwell

~Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever –Gandhi

Life Offers you a Thousand Chances, All you have to do is take one!

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy

Norman Vincent Peale


~A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -Herm Albright

~Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much!~

~A Journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.~

Lao Tzu

Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.


“Well-behaved women rarely make history” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. -CS Lewis

Just keep swimming! - Dori on Nemo
 
How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone -Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel
 

Every morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day. -EB White

 
People who give a shit are sexy. -Scott Hahn & Rogan Gregory
 

He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. -Harold Wilson

 
 

Often we don't even realize who we're meant to be because we're so busy trying to live out someone else's ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny.

Oprah Winfrey

 
It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not. -James Gordon




We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. -Lynn Hall

It seems to me that people have vast potential.

Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the

confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don't.

They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever.

Philip Adams

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. -Nelson Mandela

If you can give your son or daughter only one gift,

let it be enthusiasm. -Bruce Barton

A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. -Patricia Neal

Nobody cleared a path for themselves by giving up.

Alacia Bessette

 

Act as if it were impossible to fail.

Dorothea Brande

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not lived at all. In which case, you've failed by default.

J. K. Rowling

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.

By: Carl Jung

Better to write for yourself and have no public,
than to write for the public and have no self. 
Cyril Connolly

Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself.

That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive,

 go much further than people with vastly superior talent.

Sophia Loren

Beneath the rule of men entirely great,

The pen is mightier than the sword.
Edward Bulwer-Lytton

There are few nudities so objectionable as the naked truth.

Agnes Repplier

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.



Arnold Palmer

Turns out if you never lie, there's always someone mad at you.

Scott Westerfeld

The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others.

Hasidic Saying

You will find something more in woods than in books. Trees and stones will teach you that which you can never learn from masters. By: Saint Bernard

The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it.

Edith Wharton

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.

Jules Renard

Determine never to be idle...It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.

Thomas Jefferson

If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is not a barking dog, to be tethered on a ten-foot chain.

Adlai E. Stevenson Jr

 
There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Bertrand Russell

Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor;

but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable,

 more people would be content to be ignorant than

would take even a little trouble to acquire it.

Samuel Johnson

Only the curious will learn and only the resolute
overcome the obstacles to learning.
The quest quotient has always
excited me more than the
intelligence quotient.

Eugene S. Wilson

Only the curious will learn and only the resolute overcome the obstacles to learning.

The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence quotient.

Eugene S. Wilson

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. ~John Lennon

Own only what you can carry with you; know language, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn

You have to keep plugging away.
We are all growing.
There is no shortcut.
You have to put time into it to build an audience.  
John Gruber
 

Victory belongs to the most persevering.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.

Arnold Bennett

He who would travel happily must travel light.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights;
it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent,
in the ideas of living.



Miriam Beard

Mountains inspire awe in any human person who has a soul. They remind us of our frailty, our unimportance, of the briefness of our span upon this earth. They touch the heavens, and sail serenely at an altitude beyond even the imaginings of a mere mortal.

Elizabeth Aston

It's amazing
how quickly
nature consumes
human places
after we turn
our backs on
them. Life is a
hungry thing.

Scott Westerfeld

Few things are impossible to diligence and skill.

Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.

Samuel Johnson

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.

Anna Freud

In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous. Aristotle

 

I would feel more optimistic

about a bright future for man

if he spent less time proving

that he can outwit Nature

and more time tasting her

sweetness and respecting her

seniority.

E. B. White



Who Are The People Stopping By?

Many people are stopping by to read this blog everyday. They do not "Follow" me and that is fine but it does leave me wondering. Who are you? Many anonymous eyes read my ramblings. Whoever you are thanks for your interest. Feel free to leave a comment, anonymously, of course, lol. Hope you get a giggle or take some information with you as you read through. I also write another blog named Crystal's Travel Journal. If you come here to read about our outings and travel it is now being written about on that one. This has become my personal journal.

Whoever you are reading this I hope all is well for you! I also hope you continue stopping by! Have a great day or night!

OMG! Kate Gosselin Tweeted me!

I signed up for Twitter yesterday. I tweeted Kate Gosselin today and she tweeted ME back!!!! I was so shocked! I love her! I'm sad the show is almost over!

Freebies of the Month!

This month I got a few freebies! I wanted to share with you. I got most of these because of signing up for customer appreciation memberships.

I got:

• Victoria's Secret purple cotton hip hugger underwear (Normally $7.50)
• Victoria's Secret purple leopard print miracle hip hugger underwear (Normally $8.50)
• $10 gift card to Kohl's (I used this to buy a dress that was on sale for $15.99 that was originally $39.99. That means I got a $40 dress for $6!)
• $10 gift card for JcPenney's (Hubby got an Adidas shirt that was on sale for $12.99. It was originally $24.99. We paid $3!)
• 2 single scoop ice cream's in a dish at Culver's (The girls enjoyed these!)
• Pack of regular Oreo's
• 2 containers of Yoplay yogurt
• large bag of Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream Chips
• 1 dozen large eggs
• 1 bottle of Kroger brand Ranch dressing

These are all coupons and gift cards that came in my mailbox because of signing up for things. I am on the customer appreciation list for Victoria's Secret, Kohl's and JcPenny. I have a Kroger discount card. If you sign up for one of these you receive coupons about once a month as long your card has been used. The Culver's coupons were given to my kids on one of our other outings. They were handing them out to drum up some business. The yogurt coupons were from YoPlay because we had gotten a cup of yogurt we were unhappy with. They sent us coupons for two as an apology. All is forgiven.

I would like to point out that we used many other coupons for items that were not completely free but still inexpensive, such as pickles for 88 cents a jar. I posted this because people seem shocked when I tell them we get things free or when we go places people ask how we afford it. We do many free or very cheap outings! It does not cost a fortune to have fun with your kids. There are ways to get most things cheap or even free if you are willing to try a little. Trust me I only try a little, lol.

A Day Alone With Too Much Time To Think

Normally I put my oldest on the bus at 8am and she gets home at 4pm. My husband leaves for work by 4:30pm. He is home during the day and Ivy is home during the evening. Today my husband went boating and fishing with my uncle. It has been just Bella and me all day. I did not have a lot that I had to get done today so I ended up with too much time to think. This does not happen often. I live a busy life but I enjoy it. However my brain is constantly going through things. There is always way too much pinging around in there. Today just put the spotlight on it.


Not until I had a little additional time, did I realize how much not only my life has changed but how much I have changed in the last few years. A few years ago I had an Aha! Moment. A true Epiphany. That was when I first realized that somewhere along the way my life had gone off track. I was becoming the thing I hated. I looked in the mirror and saw a sheep. I was the stereotypical boring and bored housewife. I no longer liked my life, let alone loved it. After being at home for a few years I began to lose myself. I did not drive for the first 5 years I was an at-home mom. I did not get out nearly as much as I would have liked to. Making friends became increasingly difficult when we moved from an apartment complex when Ivy was two to a country setting. At this point my self-esteem started to nose dive. When she was 3 1/2 we moved into the downtown area of a small town. I was happy because I could walk to someplace. My husband changed jobs to a place where he would only be home four days a month. I had to learn to drive. If something happened to Ivy I could not risk not being able to get her to the doctor. I had a lot of anxiety about driving. I recognized the fact that it had to be done so I stepped up. It was the first fear I confronted. It went well within a month I was driving fairly well. This was a bigger change then I could have ever foreseen. This was the first time in years that I was proud of myself, not my children, myself. I cannot explain this to someone who has not been there.

My daughter started school. I had met a few people in town but I had made no real friends. A few weeks into school her teacher asked if I would be interested in being a reading aid. They were looking for somebody willing to come in twice a week. I agreed and was thrilled by the thought of helping children. I loved the hours I spent there. After a couple months the school librarian asked if I would be willing to help out in the library once a week. She told me she really needed my help. She was a nice lady so I agreed. I started spending two days a week as a reading aid and one in the library. Within a month another mother approached me and invited me to my first PTO meeting. I went and somehow ended up being the PTO hospitality chair. I am not sure how that happened but the ladies were friendly so I went with it. Once I got back into a social situation I started to notice that I did not fit in well. I was socially a little rough around the edges from years of being at home. I was often oversensitive. I did not come from this small town although I loved it. The women acted as if they were excited to get to know me. They asked me tons of questions and told me loads about themselves. It did not take me long to notice that they all talked about each other behind their backs. However they were the first friends I had made in years so I kept the relationships going.

Over the summer my daughter's Girl Scout troop leader quit. She was so upset! The troop leader called and asked me to take over the troop. I reluctantly agreed. I made another small turning point at about this time as well. I sat down and wrote out a list of the things that I wanted to change about myself. I must point out that I am a list person but this was something completely different. This was not a list of things for dinner, places to visit, or errands. It was not even a wish list of things I wanted in life. You know the silent list in your head that says things like buy a home or retire at 65. This was a list of the things that were wrong in my life that I had control of. I wrote out the things I was unhappy about. Then I wrote what I could do about it. Anything that you are unhappy about in your life you have the ability to change. I had read this but did not honestly believe it at that time. I said to myself, “Yeah, I can just do anything I want. Sure, and pigs fly too.” I had no idea what was ahead of me. I figured if I was going to try this life changing stuff I had to start somewhere. I decided to quit smoking. I tried the cold turkey method and failed. I tried the patch and I failed. I tried to gum and…yeah, that’s right, I failed. I tried the lozenge and once again failed. That’s when I quit trying to quit.

The following school year they talked me into taking on two additional projects for the PTO while keeping the chair of hospitality. This brought me up to six volunteer positions. I am an organized and hardworking individual. I kept up with it nicely. At this point I made my first few real friendships in that small town. These were people who were nice to me and did not pressure me to do anything. I had my yearly check-up and talked to my doctor about quitting smoking. She said I think I’ve got an idea. I will openly admit it, I used Chantix. It worked wonders! I had tried to quit many times but this time was different. I was getting really stressed out. I called the doctor and she suggested exercise. I had a YMCA membership that we used for children’s programs and swimming. I began going to the gym whenever I felt too stressed out. After a couple months of being on Chantix I was doing really well until I had one very bad day. I snapped. I had not smoked a cigarette in a while but I did that day. I smoked one and immediately lit another. I felt sick and my eyes were watering from the smoke. I was so upset with myself. I threw down the cigarette and stomped on it. I threw the rest of the pack in the outdoor trash can. I knew right then that I was done smoking. It was at that point that I remembered the list. I went in the house, dug the list out of the back of my planner, and crossed out quit smoking. I sat there in stunned silence that I had done one of the things on this list! I knew right then that I could do anything on it. It was going to take a lot of work but I could do everything on that list. I could be happy. I did not know how but I knew it was possible. I made a promise to myself at that point to finish the list, to do the things that make me happy, and turn the corner in my life.

At the end of the school year I was nominated for PTO vice-president. I was so flattered that I accepted without ever stopping to consider the outcome. I had fallen into the trap. I got so caught up in trying to be nice that I had way too much on my plate. I was now doing seven volunteer positions. I sold things part time on E-Bay, mainly vintage books and clothing. I did not have an actual paid hourly job but I was putting in just as many hours if not more a week. I had weeks that I was doing 70+ hours! I was losing it. I was still going to the gym to deal with the stress of life. But this was too much stress even for me. My husband and I had begun talking about having another baby. We were living in a two bedroom townhome at the time. We talked about moving into a three bedroom house. When Ivy was about half way through second grade we found a big place in the country. It was not in the same school district. My husband, Michael, asked if I thought it was alright to move Ivy. I told him I wasn’t sure but I thought we should try it. I knew it was what was best for me.

I know it sounds funny but I both loved and hated our country house. I loved it because when we moved I quit all the volunteer positions. I knew that I could not do them any longer. I was tired of feeling used. The ladies who had got me into most of this were pretend friends. They needed something from me. Once I moved I did not hear from most of them again. I felt like I was on a prolonged vacation when we first moved to that house. I quit selling things on E-bay as well. I was just Ivy’s mommy and a housewife. My husband switched to a new job that allowed him to be home on weekends. It was nice to see him more often. Within a few months of moving in I found out I was pregnant. We were so excited. The pregnancy came with a few ups and downs. One of the biggest ups was that I rediscovered church. Ivy and I began going to family night every Wednesday. The biggest down was a fall when I was 26 weeks pregnant and the following night in the hospital. The country became boring quickly. I realized before the first year in our new home was over that I was not meant to live in the country long term. I was bored once the novelty wore off. I began to hate the place. I only had a couple of friends at church. Michael got a new job in Kentucky where he could be home every day. After him being gone so much for more than four years it was amazing! The only problem was we lived in Indiana. He was spending over 3 hours on the road daily.

In December of 2009, Bella was born. Ivy turned 9 in January. We moved to Kentucky to be closer to Michael’s work in February. Our lives were once again in upheaval. This time the pieces fell into place much faster. It did not take us long to feel at home. I had always wanted more kids so having Bella meant the world to me. I still had my list in my thoughts. The next one was personal confidence. I know this is something that woman struggle with after children. I had just had a baby a few months before that. I honestly felt more confident in myself after having her. I made out a short list of the things that bothered me the most about myself physically and then took action. I had a ton of dental work done. I had already begun working out when I quit smoking. I got back in the swing and picked up the pace. I chopped off my hair and donated it to locks of love. I promised myself that I would start taking more of an interest in myself. For the very first time since I had kids I cared about how I looked. I always tried to look acceptable but I knew that in the end it did not matter. I was certain that I wasn’t pretty so why try too hard. I decided that I should wear whatever made me happy. I started to notice that I was the issue. I was being too hard on myself. There was nothing truly wrong with me that wasn’t easily fixable. I started to take the time to do my hair and make-up every day. I began to feel a little more like the girl I once was.

The next one on my list was to be able to provide for the future of my family. I started thinking about returning to work. I knew my job options were slim since I never attended college. After a lot of thought and research I made a choice to go back to school. I knew going in that it would not be easy but at the end I would be able to financially care for my children for the first time. I kept this goal in the front of my mind as I nervously attended my first classes. I honestly could never have dreamed how much I would learn in college that had nothing to do with the classes. It changed me in unexpected ways. I am more confident, adventurous, social, and cultured. I have learned about art, people, science, writing, history, math, public speaking, and picked up many other skills. It has inspired me to take other chances in my non-educational life. It has affected me so deeply.

Today I had a chance to look back. It was startling to remember who I was just a few years ago. I have changed in so many ways. I am now a mother of two and a non-smoker. I am in good shape. I can run and not just around the block. I am proud of who I am. I have many real friends who want nothing but my company. My marriage is better than it has ever been. I got my adventurous spirit back. I am social, friendly, and open. I am more educated. I now know that I can do anything I want to do. I feel like I am the person I was always meant to be. I wish I would not have wasted so many years worrying about failure or what people would think. I wish I could go back and tell myself that not ever trying is the real failure. Hard work and perseverance has paid off. In the end it does not matter what anyone else thinks. It only matters that you do the things that make you happy. If you are proud of who you are you can stand up to the masses and say “If you have an issue with me, please feel free to kiss my ass!”

Life offers you a Thousand Chances; all you have to do is take one!

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. – CS Lewis

Potty Time!

Bella, my 20 month old, was standing in our living room this afternoon. She started pulling at her shorts and yelling. I thought maybe they were bothering her so I pulled them up and straightened them out. She flipped out, threw herself on the floor & began screaming. I took her shorts off thinking they might be hurting her or something. She immediately jumped up and ran down the hall to the bathroom yelling "MA!!!!!MA!!!!MA!!!!" all the way. I ran after her. She started knocking on the bathroom door. I opened it for her. She ran in, took off her diaper, and proceeded to urinate all over the floor! I was standing there in shock by the series of events that had just occurred when she began to cry. I told her it was OK. I said "It's no big deal. We can clean it up. It's fine. You did a really good job!" I started cleaning up the floor. Bella just stood there. I looked over at her and she was staring longingly at the toilet. I asked her if she wanted to sit on the big girl potty. She just looked at me. I picked her up and sat her on the toilet. She was so happy, grinning at me while sitting on the big girl potty. I guess the time has come to begin potty training. Here I was worrying about when we should start training her. I guess she had other plans.

Bella's Art Work

This is all the way down my hall!! She was coloring earlier. We put the crayons up and moved on to evening activities. Well Obviously we missed the red, lol.

Read Bella A Cute New Book Today

Today we read "Peek-a-Zoo!" Written by Marie Torres Cimarusti. Illustrated by Stephanie Peterson. This is the cutest book! Bella loved flipping down all the flaps to reveal the animal behind them. I highly suggest this one.

First Day of 5th Grade

Ivy has officially started the fifth grade! I cannot believe she is that old!

Talked to the Nurse

OK, I think I got the stuff figured out with the school nurse. I walked them through how to put it on. It is the easiest thing in the world. I am sure I came across as very condescending but I was really mad. I was glad I kept myself together and did not get loud. They said it was not a problem and they would take care of it. That sounds fine and dandy but that is what they told me to begin with. I obviously cannot totally trust their word.

Now I have to make a couple calls to see if there is anything she should not be doing in gym. I tried to tell them that she is cleared to do whatever she feels comfortable doing but they have to hear that from a doctor. It always amazes me how many hoops you have to jump through with schools. I let you know how the gym stuff works out.

Issues with the school

I am currently having issues with my daughters' school about her brace. She is supposed to take it off to eat and have time to disgest some. She gets heartburn if she eats in it. This was the doctor's idea. I sent her to school the day before yesterday. I call and they say they did not get the paper work to take it off yet. The nurse says that she cannot take it off without the paper. I say OK I will re-call and see what I can do. I spend my lunch break on the phone dealing with this. Brace doctor's office says they will send it right out. I call at 2pm after i get out of class. The medical records lady says they have it. She says everything is ok for tomorrow. I have her read me what they wrote. It is from the right place and says the right thing. I say alright sounds like that is taken care of. Do you need anything else from me? She says no, it will be taken off for lunch tomorrow.

I call the school this afternoon a little after lunch to make sure they didn't have any trouble getting it back on. Only I get to hear that they never took it off. They have a form from the doctor stating what needs to be done but just didn't do it. The excuse was that the nurse at another school called in so their nurse had to go there and her assistant did not feel comfortable taking it off. The lady did not bother to even call me. I was off today and would of gladly came in and took it off myself. I am so angry! I told them I will personally be there at 8am tomorrow. I told her to make sure her assistant is there. I will teach her how to do her job myself. I also told her that if they did not properly take care of the situation I would be going to the school board with my complant. I told her that if a school nurse does not do a basic medical thing for a child that is part of their job I consider that neglect. I am in school to be a nurse. If I failed to do my job I know I could be hurting someone.

I am at a loss on why they would have an employee who could not perform their job. The icing on the cake however came from Ivy after she got home. She told me that when she went to the office that the nurse assistant told her that she was not taking the brace off today but it was ok because she talked to her mom already! Ivy came home upset with me. Nobody ever called me. I was beyond upset! I hoping this does not become a normal situation. I am not good at holding my temper when it comes to my daughter's health. I will end up screaming at someone.

Hoping and praying tomorrow goes ok.